you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Randomize
