I wanna passion pit in your ass
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
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