yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
