As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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