I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
