Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
