so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Randomize
