dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Randomize
