Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Randomize
