she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
Randomize
