Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Randomize
