1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Randomize
