Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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