I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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