My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
