"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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