In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Randomize
