farters have to be the big spoon...
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Randomize
