How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I wish I only lived at night.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Randomize
