So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
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