if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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