she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Randomize
