he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
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