I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
wakey wakey hands off snakey
Pants 0. Shit 1.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
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