Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
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