I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
