FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
Randomize
