dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
