the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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