I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
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