DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Randomize
