It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
Randomize
