Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Randomize