i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
