I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Randomize
