Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
