I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
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