I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
