operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize