i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Randomize
