yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize