He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
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