I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize