I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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