I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
