no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
There's always time for handjobs
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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