He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
