I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
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