Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Randomize
