dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
Randomize
