tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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