The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
