You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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