I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
