They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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