I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
