Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
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