No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Randomize
