oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
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