Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
The police scanner is talking about you again....
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Randomize
