Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
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