Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
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