i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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