why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
