don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Boobs are out for the taking
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
