At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
