She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Randomize
