just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
