how can u be prego again
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Randomize
