i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
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